ello, jello

Welp. I thought I wanted her, but I don’t feel… anything.

not when I watched her sip the tea I bought her. not when I watched her read the backs of the covers at the bookstore I took her to. not when we sat in my dad’s car afterwards and she waited for me to do… something. not when she said she had work to do and I said me too. it just didn’t feel like the day I did the same thing with… her. on that day she said she liked plants and I bought her three. she glanced at a book at that same store and we read together silently. I couldn’t believe that I was in the presence of the sun, and yet there she was, glowing in front of me. we walked through the gardens at the park and when we reached the wooden canopy, she asked me slyly for my car key. our initials are still there. we talked until 1 that night in my dad’s car, seats all the way back and bodies turned towards each other. we squealed when the car alarms went off. we woke up the dogs, she texted me with a winky face the next day.

But that was that day with that girl. And today was this day with this one. I don’t think this one will see the light of day.