ello, jello

It’s not all-consuming the way people say. It’s the way she pulled me into the bathroom and tenderly clipped my fingernails between my knees after I said my nails had been bothering me the entire day. It’s the snapped crocodile clip that she fixed and painted pink hanging from my curtain. It’s the utility tool with my name and a heart engraved in it in my car glovebox. It’s the gold snake earrings that I almost bought the other day that she snuck into our pile of napkins for me to find. It’s not all-consuming, but somehow she’s everywhere. She’s on my curtain. She’s hanging from my ear. She’s with me every time I use my car. She’s at my fingertips. It’s almost scarier than being all-consuming. She’s a part of me, and I’m the one who invites her in.