ello, jello

It’s valentines day

a year ago we were cat-sitting, discovering each other in our own space for the very first time

i got the birth control shot and we ate cold sushi at the kitschy general store while I cried

the nurse had prescribed me anti-depressants for my PMDD and I was so excited

so excited to try some pills that would make everything a little easier

a little more manageable

a little bit less intense

because everything was intense a year ago

everything was new

you let me figure it out for the both of us

our bodies and our brains

and it was all so much.

i had no idea that in two weeks I’d be let go from our theatre job, have a new panic disorder, and two anxiety medications to cope

the therapist for everything else came right after, too

valentine’s week was the end of the beginning, the end of the honeymoon, the last sip of something surreal before things became very, very real