ello, jello

The last time I was in this city, we were still together.

I don’t remember much but I remember the hotel room. I remember how we could change the lights and the see-through shower, like they knew we would be fucking

I didn’t really want to

By that point, I knew I was going to break up with you

But I definitely couldn’t in this city

Not in a place far from both of our homes, not in a place where there was nowhere to hide

We fucked in our hotel in the tenderloin district, and that was the last time I let myself enjoy it

I’m back in this city now and this room was not made for fucking

Four sets of bunk beds with curtains and a window that faces the brick building next door

Two strangers snore

My friend breathes deeply across from me

We saw Thundercat play today

He’s sober now, in a different place than the last time I saw him

It’s funny – the last time I saw him was the first time I met Her. We didn’t know it then, but that was the beginning.

He plus differently now

It’s easier to follow his train of of thought

Before it felt like he was just barely pulling through – pulling bits and pieces of harmonic madness from the ether with his fingertips

Today he smiled and told us we had good vibes

No one will touch me tonight

I blocked her yesterday after almost a full year of moving away

It was an impulse and I’m not sure yet how I feel

But I’m not drunk on her anymore

I’m sober