ello, jello

It’s so weird reading old text messages Like oh yeah, I used to say that a lot And I forgot we talked about this back then And especially I should have trusted my gut when I sent that. I’m reading through old texts between me and my Washington friend, rare ones where I talk about Continue reading

My father is so good, he is so kind. He’s so kind it hurts. It hurts because I know now that this world isn’t kind to kind men, it’s mean. It’s tough. It tells them that unless theyre invincible, they’re weak, that they’re not strong enough, that they need to be more for a family, Continue reading

*** wants to follow you on Strava. And if it were three months ago, I would’ve accepted. But it’s April now, not January. Or December. A year ago I was reaching out desperately to any therapists in the area, trying to deal with being with her. Trying to deal with being the person I had Continue reading

Psychosis is a funny word My ex wore it proudly Continue reading

I’m six, and it takes an eternity to leave the shower. My body isn’t ready, it’ll be too cold. My towel is a heavy cloak and I’m a rogue Continue reading

I have these ridges on my toenails, I guess they’re called Beau’s lines Like rings of a tree trunk, they tell my most recent story The way you shook painfully in my arms on our very last night, the same one the presidential apocalypse began You kissed my forehead goodbye the next morning and I Continue reading

Today, I looked in the mirror and saw myself. I’m blasting The Garden in the car with my windows down and running late to coffee with an old professor and feeding myself spring rolls in the library parking lot. I’m building puzzles and listening to old school hip hop and dancing to my cousin’s shower Continue reading

I text you happy birthday today on a whim. I wasn’t planning on it, but I do, and I immediately feel the panic sink in. What if you take it the wrong way? What if you’re having an awful time and my text is shoving it in your face? What if you’re not ready for Continue reading

Before the apocalypse, there was the apocalypse of others: Continue reading

Wren says they saw my spark today while I was reading some of the things I’ve written here Didn’t think I’d ever get the balls to do it I just didn’t think about it Just opened up my phone and started talking It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done My fingers shook and my Continue reading