ello, jello

Mama you bought the book about Alzheimer’s when papa Machi was diagnosed

Mama you printed out the articles for dementia when papa Machi couldn’t get up anymore

Mama you listened to the podcasts and collected the doctors office pamphlets and you bought the plane tickets and scheduled the appointments and flew internationally when your dad finally passed.

But where are your books for me, mama

Where was the book when I was diagnosed with depression at 15, mama

Where was your article when my brother said he called the suicide hotline at the same age, mama

Where were your documentaries and podcasts and autobiographies when we were both diagnosed with ADHD, mama

Where are you going, mama?

Look at us.

Why are you so scared of the future, mama

My brother and I are standing right in front of you