Maybe… maybe they’re not parallels. Maybe it’s a bipolar crossroad and we’re stopped. My grandma was there first, then it’ll be my uncles turn and I’ll go last. We’re all here now but we’re all headed different places. Yeah… I’m so relieved it’s a crossroad. Continue reading

Bipolar parallels. Parallels parallels parallels. How do I break this one? Continue reading

Last night I dreamt first of the bird. I don’t think I actually saw it, but I knew it was trying to hurt me. Bright and wings flapping wicked fast. I crushed it in the door by accident. It still tried getting in. My brother snuck in and she was just outside – fatally injured… Continue reading

Surely this has never been done before Ours will last because it’s different, it must it must Continue reading

Had another snake dream last night. We were in Australia, and Australia looked an awful lot like rural Nevada. Mountains and crackly heat and trickling stream and all. Our tour guide was a pretty dyke, older than me by a decade maybe. The snakes slithered in and out of the water like black and white… Continue reading

I’m allowing myself to think of what it could be. (It’s probably too early. Probably.) But I’m giving myself permission to imagine. What would our kids call us? Who would be mom? Who would be momma? Or would one of us be mommy? Mama? Mamá? Maybe… mami? I hope neither of us are mother. Or… Continue reading

we checked out a friend of a friend’s “guest suite” yesterday. we thought we’d give it a glance. their three kids stared open-mouthed at us in the doorway, like my baby and I were something exotic. gay and bizarre and loud and colorful and dark and complex. a little bit of spice in their otherwise… Continue reading

Aren’t you giving too much?, I imagine my mom asking me. And the answer is, I don’t know. Are you hungry, baby? Eat from my fingertips. Are you cold? I’ll drape my warmed coat over your shoulders. Rough day at work? These arms will hold you close. Maybe it’s too much. But she hasn’t pushed… Continue reading

Turns out having rough sex in the backseat of a Subaru while it rains outside can actually heal you Continue reading

The milf from Sex Ed was right. Sex doesn’t make you whole. It made sense to me when I watched the show. But I didn’t know it, really. Now I get it. It doesn’t make you whole. You’re whole if you don’t have sex, you’re whole if you do have sex. You’re whole if you… Continue reading